Any type of divorce can be stressful and difficult, even when the couple mutually agree to end the marriage amicably. If your marriage was already contentious, while the divorce can bring the relief you need, the actual procedure will almost certainly be difficult. Your future ex-spouse may be angry, may want to get even with you, or have a host of other feelings. They may even believe the reason the marriage failed is because of you.

To help alleviate the added stress and anxiety a contentious divorce can bring, you need to decide what aspects of the divorce matter most to you and your children, if applicable. While your divorce lawyer and the courts will ensure you get you an equal share of matrimonial assets, other aspects of the divorce can be much more important.

For instance, you may have concerns over child custody and access. A top propriety could be to ensure you are the custodial parent and the children reside with you the majority of the time. You could be equally concerned about making sure the children are properly cared for and that the other parent contributes financially to support the children in accordance with the law.

You might even be worried about visitation rights of the other parent if they were abusive to you and the children. If you were in an abusive relationship, you will want to inform your divorce lawyer. If you had to call the police for previous domestic disputes, also let your lawyer know so these facts can be shared with the court and judge. While access to the other parent is important, the children should not be placed at risk in the process.

Another concern you may have is in regards to where the other parent lives. If they are living in a small one-bedroom apartment or in a less-than-ideal part of town, it is understandable you are concerned about your children’s welfare and safety. However, you cannot simply block access completely as it could affect your custodial rights. Again, any concern about living/sleeping arrangements should be brought before the court.

It is always smart to express your concerns through your divorce lawyer. Your lawyer will know how best to approach the matter with the court and judge. If necessary, they know how to get the appropriate agencies involved that focus on what is in the children’s best interests and to protect the children from harm.

Even if you do not have children, there can be non-property issues that matter more than getting your share of matrimonial assets. You could simply want the peace of mind of not having to come home and get into an argument every night. You may be looking forward to being able to go out with friends or family and not worry about unfounded accusations when you get home.

As you can see, each person can have different ideas of what things will matter most when going through a contentious divorce. When you can identify these, it can help your divorce lawyer navigate your divorce proceedings to deal with what matters most to you.

If you are in a contentious marriage and are ready to start divorce proceedings, please feel free to contact the Ottawa family lawyers at Davies Law Firm for help. Call us at 613-688-0462 to schedule a consultation today!