Finding out your spouse or partner has been cheating is a major let down and a blow to your physical and emotional well being. One of the initial emotions responses is often anger, not only towards the cheating spouse, but also towards the person they cheated with. You might be tempted to confront one or both of them or catch them in the act. However, while this may bring short-term satisfaction, this is not always the best course of action.
The first thing you need to determine is whether you want to attempt to save your marriage. Sometimes the cheater made an error in judgment and it only happened that one time. Other times the cheating partner has grown bored with the marriage, so they were seeking a thrilling outlet and actually desired to be caught. Then, there are times when the person has simply mentally “checked out” of the marriage, but does not want to be the one to initiate divorce proceedings, so they turn to cheating instead.
Irrespective of the reason why a person cheated, you and your spouse must be truly committed to saving the marriage in the face of infidelity; otherwise, any attempt at reconciliation will end up as a short-term “band-aidsolution” and before you know it, they will fall back into their cheating patterns. If your spouse is receptive to attempting to truly save the marriage, then it is recommended that you seek help from a qualified marriage counselor. You may want to consult with a counselor ahead of time to discuss how best to approach the cheating spouse and find out if they are interested in saving the marriage.
If your spouse says they have no desire to save the marriage and for them, it is over, then your next step would be to contact an experienced divorce lawyer in Ottawa. The implications of a divorce will have far-reaching effects on your life and livelihood. The last thing you want is to stay in a marriage where your spouse intends to keep cheating without filing for divorce, creating a “sham” marriage.
Unfortunately, this type of situation can occur because the cheater knows the other spouse wants to attempt to save the marriage, so they are reluctant to initiate divorce proceedings. Instead, the innocent spouse may hope the cheater will eventually stop and sometimes actually believe their partner is simply going through a “phase’.
Filing for separation and divorce provides certain legal protections for you and any minor children you had with your spouse. For instance, the cheater is using matrimonial assets to support, that is to say, fund their affair. If you can find evidence of this, not only could the cheater be required to put back the monetary value of those assets, but he or she could also be barred from selling or giving away future matrimonial assets.
Additionally, just because you file for divorce does not mean your marriage will end in divorce. Sometimes, the wake-up call your spouse needs is when they are served divorce papers. For some people, this is enough to get them motivated to save their marriage.
DISCLAIMER: The above is provided for reference purposes only and should not be viewed as actual legal advice. For more information about filing for divorce and your legal rights, contact the Ottawa divorce lawyers at Davies Law Firm at 613-688-0462 today for a consultation appointment!